Self-portrait (Being brave)

This week I began an  evening art course at Kingston University; a 'pre-foundation portfolio' course.  It's fun to be a real beginner again and tonight I took a risk and decided to draw a self portrait instead of watching tv.  I've taken a couple of short art courses over the past two terms with artist Stephanie Wilkinson and I have such a long way to go (although Stephanie is an amazing teacher).  But what I love about this journey is the being free to make mistakes, being free to make bad or mediocre art and say 'that's ok'.  It's what I encourage my writing clients to do all the time- back to Maupassant's 'Get black on white'.  Just get something down and wait for the interesting creative accident.  This self portrait is, I feel, at least a little closer to a likeness than the last one I did when working with Stephanie, so I can see progress and that's exciting.  I'm doing this just for the pleasure of it and I think that's how we should write too: because we love the art of creation, not because we're looking for some prize at the end of it.  Publication is a wonderful treat and being able to share the work and make money from one's art is an amazing feeling - so long as in the process we don't lose sight of why we made art in the first place.

Sharing this self-portrait here is part of my new 'Be Brave' project.   I'm taking the idea from artist Jessie Marianiello who began the project in 2007 (so I'm rather late for the party!).  Here's Jessie's 2008 post about the idea.  It stems from the Eleanor Roosevelt quotation:  "Do one thing every day that scares you."  When I first saw Jessie's post, some months ago now, I found it inspiring, but I wasn't ready to take up the challenge.  Now I am.  I began the project six days ago.  This is what I've done each day.  Not things that terrify me of course:  no sky-diving or solo trips to the Arctic.  Just small things that push me beyond my comfort zone (and take me forward in my life.)  I'm trying to see this as a challenge to look at things differently, so sometimes I may do more than one thing in a day, but I have to say, it has been a fabulous week.

Here's what I've done thus far.  Every day I've faced the blank page of my novel (oh yes, still scary) and I've also:

Day One - Sunday - Researched MAs in Art History on the web and printed details about three courses.

Day Two - Monday - Enrolled on a short course in Art History (High Renaissance - 1860) starting January.

Day Three - Tuesday - Bought an online 'Learn to Play Guitar' course at Jamorama

Day Four - Wednesday - Emailed my agent and asked if she was still happy to look at the first three chapters of my edited novel to be certain I'm on the right track with this rewrite.  (She said 'of course' and instantly).  Attended the art course at Kingston, only to find out I was only one of two mature students in a class of twenty - yikes!

Day Five - Thursday - Invested in Dave Navarro's 'More Buyer's Mastermind' which is totally fabulous by the way and only $97 dollars until Monday (then it goes up to $197 and no, I'm not an affiliate, just a fan).  Dave Navarro is brilliant by the way and if you're not on his Monday morning 'Kick in the Ass' list, you should be - it's fab.)  I listened to the first interview with Naomi Dunford of Ittzybiz en route to the British Library where I spent the day writing and polishing those three chapters to perfection.

Day Six - Launched my Career Development Coaching for writers on my website; practised guitar; sent the three chapters to my agent, did a self-portrait, posted it here and stayed up far too late.  (Early nights clearly scare me, I need to tackle that one...)

I have no idea what I will do to be brave tomorrow.  My daughter plans to take me shopping for halloween goodies.  My only plan for the evening is to watch the X Factor.  I hope to see Stephanie's work at the Landmark Arts Centre Autumn Art Fair but I'm not planning to buy any paintings.  (Have spent enough on myself for one week.)  I'll let you know... 

But most of all I want to thank Jessie for inspiring me and for the most amazing week!  I feel incredibly energised knowing, each day, that I have to push myself just a bit further than I usually would.  I remember seeing a post Jessie wrote some time ago about the day she got her new art studio - and how it wouldn't have happened without the 'Be Brave' project.  She now runs her own business, 'Stray Dog Arts', painting dogs for a living.   

I'm going to encourage every writer who comes to me for the Career Development Coaching to be brave alongside me. I'm looking forward to meeting many new writers and working together for their success.  And I'm really happy about the future I'm building - writing, painting, studying and coaching others as they take their own creative journeys.  

If you'd like to join in with the 'Be Brave' project, why not leave a comment here to let me know what you're doing to be brave?  I'd love to hear and we can encourage each other.

Comments

[Kate]

Wow, Jacqui, that's amazing. I don't know how you find the time but I am very inspired by what you're doing. This has been a year of brave things for me so far but I can't swear I do something every day. I might join you...!

[Jacqui Lofthouse]

Thanks Kate; looking forward so much to seeing you this week. And yes, you have been really brave this year! I can't wait to hear all about Barcelona. I think the every day thing is interesting. I take 'scares me' to mean something that I might not do were I not in brave mode; so it could be something really simple like something I've procrastinated about; or yesterday, a really quiet day, but I did a portrait in a bolder, coloured style. It's just that small extra push or risk, however tiny, that I might not normally make... Do join in...

[Jenny]

Hi Jacqui,
I too am in brave mode. After many years harbouring a desire to write screenplays, I enrolled to be a delegate at the Screenwriters Festival which starts next week. It's full of people who have been in the industry for years and written Oscar winning scripts. And then there's little old me.But I figured now's a good a time as any to give something new a try and if I get run over by a bus next month, at least I can say I tried it. I have even sent my scripts so far to a screenwriting mentor/teacher for a critique session at the festival. I expect I will return with no fingernails left - but also hopefully a newfound sense of starting on a very exhilarating path that may lead who knows where. Wish me luck. Jenny

[leah]

Oh, I love Jessie and her Be Brave project! So inspiring! Your self portrait is lovely!

Today, my brave acts were seemingly small, but took courage for me. I found a recycling center in town to take loads of boxes accumulated in moving (not sure why that was so scary, but I've been avoiding it for weeks!) and made a difficult phone call. Phew! Felt good to tackle those things and get them done.

If you're looking for another brave act to do with art, you might be interested in the Art Every Day Month challenge happening next month over on my blog. Just thought I'd throw that out there. :-)

Looking forward to hearing about your brave acts!

[Rachel Connor]

A few days ago I pitched my novel in a pitch competition for unpublished writers - with a panel of expert publishers, editors and a novelist. It was terrifying. But actually, I realised later that the anticipation was worse than the actual thing. Once I launched into it, there was just me and the novel. And it has made me realise that the whole marketing side of writing is not quite as scary as it seems.

[Jacqui Lofthouse]

Hi Jenny, Rachel and Leah,

Thanks so much for sharing. It has been so long since I have blogged seriously, so it is lovely to get such inspiring comments on my first 'proper' post in an age. Jenny, that's amazing that you've pushed yourself forward into that scary (but fascinating industry); Leah, I've seen your work a little before via Jamie's blog, but look forward to exploring properly and will definitely check out your challenge (and well done for tackling the boxes and that call!) and Rachel, I'm so pleased that the being brave resulted in you feeling less daunted by the whole affair. I admire your paintings and Leah your lovely drawings too and look forward to exploring your sites and work further.

[Lorna Fergusson]

Hi Jacqui, This is a serendipitous post of yours because I was just about to get in touch after a long silence to tell you about my latest 'brave' thing. After years of talking about it, I've at last set up my own website - it's all designed by me, on Mr Site, and it was a huge challenge to do that. It's not all bells and whistles, but I'm pretty pleased with it! I'm offering day courses in creative writing here in Oxford - so that's another scary/very exciting thing! Congratulations on your agent's reaction to your chapters - I hope all will continue to go positively for you. Much love, Lorna

[hannah]

Hi Jacqui! Coincidentally I am in brave mode, though your newsletter has encouraged me to bolder still. My recent braveness has involved sending out the first play I have written in ten years! And joining a Street Funk Dance Class (I kid you not - and what's more the routines we do are filmed at the end of class and posted on You Tube - oh the shame of it!) One of my OU studes sent me this Goethe quote which I think you will like...

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have dreamed could come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

Beautiful!

Love Hannah

[Jacqui Lofthouse]

Lorna, I'm so thrilled for you that you have got your site up; it looks brilliant and the location for your courses lovely. Congratulations on that. Hannah, just fabulous to hear about your play - that is wonderful news and I can't wait to hear the outcome (and you must tell me what's happening with your novel too). The dancing sounds fab, just like me at the art class with a load of late-teens and twenty-somethings... can't wait to see you on YouTube and I love that quotation!

[Jenny]

Hi Jacqui-Jenny again-we met when you spoke at my screenwriting course at Richmond College a few years back and I found you very inspirational.
I have taken the Goethe quote and printed it out and put it on the wall above my desk so every time I felel like I am out of my depth with the screenwriting, I will read it.
Good luck and love to all you amazing creative people. Jenny

[Jacqui Lofthouse]

Jenny, lovely to hear from you and I'm so pleased that the quotation Hannah reproduced here has inspired you. It's exciting for me to get back to blogging and finding a community of like-minded people here. Long may it continue.

[jessie]

Kate, your Brave accomplishments are stunning! I'm sitting here thinking: WOW!! Thank you for reflecting inspiration back towards me. I am smiling for you and for both of us and for EVERYONE on this Be Brave journey! :)

Jessie
Diary of a Self Portrait

[Jacqui Lofthouse]

Thanks so much Jessie for commenting! You began all this for all of us and I am so grateful. I haven't been on the blog for an age, so have only just found your comment. As a result of the 'be brave' project, I now have a new website being designed (something I'd put off for an age) and I am also in the process of applying for a PhD in History of Art. All very exciting. And I encourage everyone to click the 'Be Brave' box on this blog to see Jessie's original post.