How NOT to get published -

I'm delighted to welcome Writing Coach consultant 

Sara Bailey to write this, the second Guest Post on the Writing Coach blog.  Sara will be running two courses for The Writing Coach over the summer including 'How Not to Get Published' and 'Plan your Novel Day' at Shane Global, London (pictured).

Sara is a lecturer in Contemporary Fiction and Screenwriting at Solent University, Southampton and is one of my most trusted consultants.  She writes:

We've all read those books offering advice on How to Write and How to get published – here are some a few tongue in cheek pointers on how NOT to get published.

How NOT to get published - 10 top tips

• Send your manuscript in accompanied by full-length photograph, or indeed any photograph.  In fact if you send in a glamour shot, your chances of not being published will decrease, unless of course you are a glamour model, in which case you just struck gold.
• Send your manuscript in with fancy font and if possible coloured paper, if you can add in some sparkly confetti all the better.
• Do say in your letter that this is not so much a cross genre novel, as a new genre, where you have taken several different well-established genres and bonded them together.  No one likes to pigeonhole an author’s work. 
• Do remember to add in all the testimonials and quotes from your family - obviously if they loved it then the reading public and possibly the Booker Judges will adore it too.
• Don’t worry about finding out the name of the agent.  Best to just send it to the agency and let them fight over it.
• Do remember to make sure your manuscript is well over 400 pages or under 100.  Everyone knows a book is sold by weight.
• Don’t bother to check the spelling or punctuation; otherwise the editor won’t have anything to do.
• It is perfectly acceptable not to number the pages.  The story will be so compelling they’ll easily find the next page
• Tell them that this is your final draft and that you won't change a thing.  You are after all an artist and this is your perfect baby.
• Finally - it is fine to call the agent within the week to see if he has made you an offer.
  

Of course, if you really want to get published, Sara would love to welcome you along to one of the courses she is running this summer in London at Shane Global, South Molton Street, W1.

The 'Plan your Novel Day' runs on Saturday 11th July from 10am - 5pm. This one-day course uses the techniques derived from Nanowrimo (Novel in a Month) to help the writer bypass the internal editor and get to the brilliant story waiting to be told.  You will cover the basics of technique and storytelling and find a way to combat the blank page on a daily basis.  

The 'How Not to Get Published' course runs on Saturday 1st August from 10am-5pm.  This is a one-day course on presenting work to Agents.  The course will show you how to find an agent and the best way to approach them.  You will learn how to write a synopsis and covering letter.  We will look at some common mistakes and some alternative approaches. Bring your first ten pages and a sample synopsis.

The fee for each course is £80 or you can attend both courses for £140.  Both courses are limited to 12 places.  

If you'd like to book a place on either course, please fill in the contact form on the website here.